Bikini anyone?

I pondered whether or not I would even reveal this but since yesterdays blog and my fantastic feedback I figured what the heck! I bought a bikini this weekend. I am having mixed feeling about it because this is uncharted waters for me. I have worn a bikini before. The year was 1988 and it was a size 12. This of course was a pre-baby body and although I weighed much more then than I do know there were no post baby stretch marks and no kangaroo pouch just pretty much over all roundness and it was cool because I was 18. Well what isn't cool at 18? Now the story is a little different. I vowed I wouldn't wear a bikini now because my stomach is very much my nemeses, torturing me and taunting me because it's the one thing that just won't go away, no matter how many crunches, different ab exercises and so forth, it is a nagging reminder of what I want to leave behind. So I said in yesterdays blog I try to remind myself of my successes with transforming my body and the parts I love, my arms, my legs even my butt! So there I was in the store when I saw this ordinary bikini, not a teeny weeny bikini but a standard bikini top with a fuller bottom. Not a boy short or skirt but the most coverage bottom you can get and still call it a bikini. So I said "Hmmm, this might work!" Well it did work, I wasn't ecstatic over it but I was thrilled at the fact that I didn't want to gag at my image in the mirror so that must be good right? The pattern and the colors aren't anything I would go wild over, my stretch marks were almost completely covered and my kangaroo pouch didn't look like I should be hopping around. Perfect? No, not hardly, something I could work with and give me confidence to work it out and get in the real bikini I want? YES, oh boy YES! Now would I wear thins bikini around anyone I know other than my husband and children? NO! Around strangers on vacation? YES! Good enough! Take pictures in it? No! Well maybe with a sarong or just so I can mill over them for hours to see what I need to work on. Now the question is do I want to take this bikini to Miami? The land of the perfect hard body? Do I shatter the confidence I have built up by even purchasing these two patches of fabric? Seeing a tanned perfect body, 26 inch waist having, perfect boob (fake or real) beach body goddess just might be enough to send me packing! Pray for me! I am going to hold my head high and say, "I am fabulous!"